Not Far Gone

Listen to Never Too Far Gone on Spotify. Jordan Feliz · Song · 2016.

Jordan Feliz is one of my favorite artists because he does a wonderful job of tackling tough issues and circumstances while uplifting the people struggling through them.  In “Never Too Far Gone,” Feliz gives hope to those who feel far away from God, who have done wrong, who have hurt others, who have hurt themselves, and reminds them that there’s no place they can be physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually that God does not have covered in His loving presence.

The message of this song describes how, even when we run away from God, it takes only one step in the right direction to be back in His loving embrace. It takes only one action to be forgiven, only one action to be found, to be caught.

People all over the world are currently lost or in the process of losing themselves. Some may be stumbling around in the dark already, dazed, confused, blind, in despair and unable or unwilling to call out for someone to turn on the lights. Some are sprinting at a breakneck speed away from the light because it stung their eyes, and they think they will find comfort in the darkness.

There are two images I get from the lyrics in Feliz’s song. The first is kind of like a chase scene in a horror/slasher movie. If you’ve ever seen one, you know that the protagonist is sprinting as fast as possible away from the killer, who often appears to be casually walking, but never seems to lose him. No matter how fast the protagonist runs, nor how cleverly he disguises his path, the killer is always there.

In a way, that’s kind of what running from God is like. No matter how far or fast you run, God’s always right behind you waiting for you to slow down and give in, to recognize that it’s not a killer who’s after you, rather, in a parody of a horror/slasher situation, it’s a friend and guide who wants to help you escape from death.

I imagine that it might feel scary or daunting in some ways to those who only see the bright light of God from the darkness, who have never experienced the warmth and love that His light provides. And I personally think we don’t give enough credence to the fact that God can be scary to people who don’t know Him—Christianity can be scary to people who don’t truly know it, who have only ever seen it from the outside, or maybe just experienced the worst parts of believers and the church.

The second image/scenario I envision involves a large room filled with swirling darkness. The darkness ebbs and flows and changes constantly, seeking to block people in the room from seeing the light shining from the exit. The darkness is disorienting and confusing, causing those within to stumble and wander, losing all sense of direction. Even if they manage to spot the light, the suffocating darkness moves to cover it up, leaving them without a clue which way to go. But the God of light does not need to stay at the doorway; when someone calls out from the darkness, He goes to them, cutting a swath through the darkness with His light, picks them up, and carries them to the exit.

I don’t have to imagine reality for this scenario; I’ve been through things just like it. I’ve tried to walk myself out of the darkness of emotional and mental health struggles. I’ve tried to walk myself out of the suffocating room wherein I feel trapped. I’ve tried to combat my sin and temptation on my own. But it was only when I called out to God that He carried me free of those things.

In Sunday School this week, we touched on a related topic as we discussed grief and other hard-hitting emotions: the idea that Jesus, that God, has felt everything we could feel. And that’s true. We can attribute this experience of Jesus to His suffering and death on the cross. In those moments of His death, He felt every last bit of every sin. Before yesterday morning, I had never really given thought to the idea that Jesus had felt the same shame, guilt, failure, etc. that I’ve felt, that you’ve felt, that we’ve all felt. Not just that He has felt shame, guilt, failure,

Whenever I thought about Jesus being able to relate to me, I always dwelled on things in general; I never made the emotional, relational connection specific to me. But when He died on that cross, He felt all the bad, the things that God doesn’t, can’t, shouldn’t feel. A perfect God can feel no shame or guilt, but He did. He suffered under the weight of guilt for us. He suffered the load of shame for us. He suffered the pain of failure for us.

And He did not just generically feel those things. He felt the exact shame I feel whenever I give into lust or anger. He felt the guilt of each time I sinned and knew I was doing it. He felt the weight of every failure I have committed. Why? So He could chase us down, seek us out, pick us up, and show us with the scars on His hands, His feet, His side, and His head that we are not too far gone to be rescued.

When Motivation's Gone

I’ve come across a number of people recently who have expressed that their “burning passion” for God is deteriorating. Many struggle to find the feelings that they may have had when they felt God close. Some feel like God is distancing Himself from them. Others lack the expressed feelings of joy and happiness that they had when they were on fire for God and feeling the comfort that comes from that emotional high.

And when times like these come, the common question is, “How do I get that fire for God back? How do I get motivated to continue chasing after God?”

And the very simple answer is that you choose to do the hard work that comes with love. When you lack the motivation to read your Bible, choose to read it anyway. When you lack the motivation to pray, choose to pray anyway. When you lack the motivation to attend church, choose to go anyway. When you lack the motivation to fight temptation, choose to fight temptation. Because let me tell you, a feeling is not strong enough to get you through the harsh realities that will try to destroy your love for God. No feeling will ever be strong enough to support love when things go bad. The only action that can support love is choice.

The long answer is this: Let’s take the idea of a relationship, specifically marriage. Now, I’m not married, but nonetheless, I believe that I can provide an accurate representation and breakdown of what is required to make a marriage work using Biblical principles. I’m just going to do it in reverse, so bear with me.

Ephesians affirms that the concept of earthly marriage is meant as a reflection of the church’s relationship with Christ.

Chapter 5 verses 22-29 say that wives should submit to their husbands in the same way that the church should submit to Christ. Husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loves the church. He is to give himself to her. Husbands are also called to love their wives just as much as they love themselves to see her as his own flesh such that he provides and cares for her, just like Christ does for the church. He clothes us in His own righteousness so that we may be seen as righteous like Christ and not the sinners we are because we have been made one with Christ.

I don’t think Paul could have written it any clearer without literally writing, “God made marriage so that you could get a glimpse of what your relationship with Him should be like.”

I’ve been listening to a number of podcasts about marriage recently to prepare myself for when I, hopefully, get married, and one of the most consistently spoken about conflicts is how to handle separation between husband and wife. What do you do when life gets busy and the butterflies disappear? Even generally speaking, you’ll likely hear married couples talk about the disaster that is the ending of the “honeymoon phase.” What do you do when you’re no longer pursuing each other like your relationship is new?

The most spoken answer? Act. Do something about it. When a husband and wife are distant from each other emotionally, things won’t magically fix themselves. One or the other has to step up and begin pursuing their spouse in an effort to love them. When husband and wife get into an argument and neither of them feel like loving the other, the way to resolve that issues is not to wait until the feelings of love return. The way to resolve the issue is for one of them to sacrifice themselves, despite their feelings of shame, embarrassment, anger, whatever, and choose to love through the hard times.

Here’s why you can’t rely on emotions to get you through rough spots in marriage. When the rough spots come, the only emotions you are going to feel are ones that will make it that much harder for you to do what you know is right. You will be angry. You will be sad. You will be distraught. You will be ashamed. And none of those are conducive in motivating you to love. All of those things are conducive in motivating you to hate.

Okay, I know I’ve given some very vague examples. Sorry! When I get married, I’ll revisit this topic and give y’all some very clear situations in which you will have to choose love over emotional motivation, but until then, you’ll have to settle with these and one more passage of scripture that gives the clearest example of how this works as there could ever be.

Matthew 26:38-39 says, “Then He said to them, ‘My soul is swallowed up in sorrow—to the point of death. Remain here and stay awake with Me.’ Going a little farther, He fell facedown and prayed, ‘My Father! If it is possible, let this cup pass from Me. Yet not as I will, but as You will.’”

Do you really understand the deepness of this passage? Jesus is in emotional distress. He knows what is coming. He knows what He should do. Yet He desires another way. His emotions are saying, “I don’t want to do this.” He’s feeling unmotivated. He was so stressed by His feelings that He was literally sweating blood.

But what does He do? He chooses to do what He knows is right, what He knows must be done. And He goes and sacrifices Himself on the cross so that we could be saved. And that is the most perfect example of what you should do when you don’t feel so good about God.

In retrospect, what we sometimes lack the feeling to do is such a minuscule sacrifice when we compare it to what Jesus did. How hard is it, really, to read your Bible every day? Does it really take that long? Does it really take so much out of you to pray in the morning, at night, before meals? Does it cut a huge swath of time from your day to just be with God? I don’t think so.

And you know, the greatest thing about choosing to love God when you don’t feel like loving God is that the feelings come back. You might not notice it at first or it could hit you like a flood. But when you genuinely pursue God, you will find the joy that allowed Paul to live in a nasty dungeon while writing letters to encourage believers all around the known world. You will find the peace that comes with knowing that our all-powerful God has everything under control and is right there beside you at all times.

It may not be easy, but it will be worth it.

Tell the Gospel

You know, there are a lot of lost people out there, wandering around with pain and suffering, but they don’t know where to go to heal. Some don’t even know there’s a chance to heal. I’ve not written about this as much as I probably should have, but now’s the time. Somebody has to tell them about the one who loves them enough to heal their suffering, and to be honest, we don’t do it enough.

One of the most striking lines in the song “Somebody Tell Them” by City Harbor is the fourth. Here it is in context:

There's a child on the subway
His story is written on his face
And the pain he's felt, is enough to fill a lifetime
But he doesn't know any other way

If there is nothing else that could motivate you to share the gospel, this line right here should be plenty. Clearly, something horrible has happened in this child’s life for it to be so visible, but the last line makes this situation even worse.

Most children are happy, joyful—no matter what happens in the world around them, it’s difficult to steal a child’s sense of wonder about the world. The hypothetical child—who is all too real in many situations around the world—has had his joy stolen so thoroughly that all he knows is pain and loss and suffering. He literally does not know anything about the world other than “it hurts.”

I hope you understand how saddening that is. I hope you understand that it shouldn’t be that way. I hope you understand that because you hold the key to the door that can fix it, as the next few lines are about.

Somebody tell him that the lost are saved
Somebody tell him that his debt's been paid
And let him know, love is calling out his name
Somebody tell him, he's a child of the king
And there is an end to this suffering
And hope that never fades, through grace that's made a way
Somebody tell him, somebody tell him now.

It’s your job to step in and comfort those people, especially children. I could make the metaphor about all of us being children who are lost without the Father, but I think it’s fairly clear that such is the case. So, as believers, it’s our job to share the love of Christ.

There’s another point to make in this situation, too. Notice the setting the opening lines take place in: the subway, and the last line: “Somebody tell him now.” There’s a time crunch here. You only have so much time to share the gospel with those you meet. Sometimes, people are in our lives for the entirety of it, and sometimes, they are only there for but a few brief moments, but you impact everyone you ever meet, no matter how long you spend in their presence. It’s your job to make that impact a good one.

I’ve said before that love is sacrifice, but it’s time to reiterate that. Sometimes, love’s sacrifice is death on a cross to save all people who choose to accept the gift. But sometimes, love’s sacrifice isn’t that large. Sometimes, love is just sacrificing your comfort in exchange for a little bit of awkwardness as you speak to a stranger who looks like they’ve been going through a mess. It’s just a little bit of time and a little bit of energy to listen and empathize with someone who’s hurting. It’s just telling the actions of someone who loves them endlessly.

I’m just going to end this with more lyrics from this song, because, truthfully, I don’t think I could write anything better:

Too many times we've all held back
The truth from those put in our path
So let us be the voice of love to them.

Love is Sacrifice

For King and Country’s “The Proof of Your Love” is a quintessential contemporary Christian song detailing Christ’s love and how we’re supposed to follow up on that in a world that desperately needs to experience it because we’ve all been thinking of love all wrong.

Take your favorite RomCom or other romance and picture the relationship between the two lovers. What brought them together? What binds them together? Would their relationship last outside the confines of the screen or book?

Now, my experience with romances is fairly limited, but from what I’ve read and watched, I’d say the chances are pretty slim. We have this misconstrued vision of love. This vision has come about through a combination of faulty views on what love is and how relationships work. We’ve been influenced by fiction stories and movies, and also, I think, by our society’s lack of openness about love in our relationships.

Let’s take a look at your classic movie relationship: the lovers often come together via a hardship experienced by one of the two. The other attempts to help them through it, to fix them, and they eventually catch feelings for each other and get together.

When people talk to others about how they “fell in love” with their significant other, the phrase “we just had a connection” is used fairly frequently. And maybe they did, but that’s not how love works. But that somewhat harmless phrase has been perpetuated and misunderstood as it has been conveyed through our societies, and now we have a bunch of people searching for a connection that, frankly, they’re never going to find.

We’ve got this definition of love as a feeling, an emotion, a connection, a noun. It’s the butterflies in your stomach when you see someone attractive or connect with someone on a deeper level, but that’s just not it. Those feelings are nice, valuable, wonderful, but they’re just that: feelings. Love? Well, love is a verb.

So, if love is a verb, an action, and not a noun, a feeling, then how does it work? Well, let’s go to the best example of love there ever was: Christ. He died. He sacrificed his life for us. It wasn’t selfish. It wasn’t for him to boast about his actions. It wasn’t prideful. It was done with a heart that desired the best for us.

It’s oft used, but John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.” God the Son sacrificed Himself for us. That’s what love is. It’s sacrifice.

You see, the thing we call love now can’t be love because it’s selfish. It’s “loving” someone because you get nice feelings from them. That’s about what you want. But love is about what others need, desire, want. Love is laying down your life, and I don’t mean dying, for someone else. I mean choosing to serve and take care of the person you love before you take care of yourself. It’s setting aside yourself for the sake of another. John 15:13 says “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”

Love doesn’t rely on feelings, either. It’s a choice. Why? Because if we are to love like Christ loved us (John 15:12), our love must be unconditional because Christ’s love is unconditional. He does not love us more or less when we make mistakes. So, too, when those we love make mistakes, we should not love them more or less.

I’ll leave y’all with this pure definition of love from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 “Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not conceited, does not act improperly, is not selfish, is not provoked, and does not keep a record of wrongs. Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

Don’t feel love. Do love.