Just this last weekend I was introduced to Christian rapper Nathan Feuerstein, otherwise known as NF, by my little brother. I’ve only heard a few of his songs thus far, but I’ve found quite a lot of valuable information in them to mine, especially in “Therapy Session,” which I want to talk about today.

I want to discuss a few ideas before I get into the lyrics and the themes in this song. The first is the meaning behind music. A lot of times, I think people forget that music is a language—it is meant to convey things: feelings, thoughts, experiences, dreams, life. It’s not just entertainment, and it’s usually not single-minded in purpose. One song can portray a variety of things when you analyze it as you should. My point in this is that you shouldn’t dismiss music just because it’s not something you enjoy listening to.

It’s something we, meaning the Christian community (and others) do far too often. The older generation typically doesn’t like contemporary music during worship because they prefer the style of hymns. The younger generation typically doesn’t like hymns because they’re too slow and boring, or they’re hard to sing during worship, or whatever. And, to be honest, the argument between the two groups has left worship music in kind of a dark place of extremely simplified lyrics sung loudly to appease both.

I say all this because I don’t want anyone dismissing the message from music like this because it’s “not their style” or because NF doesn’t necessarily define himself as a Christian rapper and his music isn’t always the prettiest in terms of sound. Therapy session is actually rather dark at surface level. But when you go deeper, there’s a ton of God-given wisdom behind the words.

So, into the lyrics.

This music is more than you think
Don't book me for just entertainment, it's entertaining
Hearing these parents, they telling their kids
My music is violent, you gotta be kidding me
I guess that your definition of violence and mine
Is something that we look at differently

These verses go back to the topic discussed earlier and breach into the next. A lot of times, we Christians have an incredibly bad habit of railing harshly against things that don’t look, smell, taste, feel, and sound Christian right off the bat. Rap is a prime example in and of itself. Wider sects of the Christian community hate it because sometimes it sounds angry or too loud, and the words aren’t straight from Bible verses. Heavy metal is another genre that tends to get the stink eye from us because of similar reasons.

But this causes a ton of problems when the rest of the world sees it. Trust me when I say that we often have this reputation as practitioners of “cancel culture.” If you don’t know what that is, it’s the name behind the practice of blacklisting something because it doesn’t fit your idea of “good,” or because it made a mistake and said or did something “wrong.” I’m going to avoid getting technically political here, but just go search up some news articles about “Christians boycotting companies,” and just see what’s pulled up.

I won’t deny that there are certainly groups and companies we shouldn’t give our business to, but we exercise the “that’s satanic” thing way too much. We’re talking about those who don’t allow their kids to read Harry Potter because it has witches and magic in it or Percy Jackson because it’s about Greek mythology. In all honesty, Christians are becoming rather like the Pharisees in practice, disallowing things like video games, certain books, movies, songs, bands, etc.

Want me to smile, you want me to laugh
You want me to walk in the stage with a smile on my face
When I'm mad and put on a mask, for real though
I mean, what you expect from me?

Another thing we do far too often as Christians is attempt to come off as perfect. We sugarcoat ideas, we put on masks to hide our true identities and feelings when we go to church on Sundays, we live double lives because we think that’s what it means to be Christians. But I think the rest of the world actually has it right when it comes to talking about how you feel.

It’s okay to be real with your emotions and thoughts. It’s okay to admit that sometimes you doubt God. It’s okay to acknowledge how hard it is to love how Christ loves. It’s okay to admit your struggles. And it’s high past time we started making the body of Christ a safe place to be imperfect humans.

I'm taking pictures with thousands of people
But honestly, I feel like nobody knows me
I'm trying to deal with depression
I'm trying to deal with the pressure

How many people do you actually know? How many actually know you? Who can you genuinely say you are vulnerable with? That’s what’s being expressed here. How many times do you walk out of church on Sunday, talk to some people on the way out to your car, and then not speak to them again until the same time next week? Are you connecting? Are they? It’s so superficial, and most certainly it is not what God wanted for us when he declared that we should meet together and fellowship.

How many Christians deal with depression and anxiety but no one in the church knows? No one is there to help them? It goes back to some of my earlier points—we’re too willing to judge and not willing enough to learn. Personally, I fall victim to not connecting with others well. I have anxiety—talking about myself and being vulnerable is akin to jumping out of an airplane in my head, but these are the things that we must do better, even if it’s difficult, or else we risk failing at the mission God has for us.

I ain't gon' walk on these stages in front of these people
And act like I live my life perfectly
That doesn't work for me
Christian is not the definition of what perfect means

I love that last line more than any other line in this song for a number of reasons. Being Christian does not mean to be perfect. It means to follow the only one who lived a life of perfection. We strive for perfection knowing we will never reach it. The problem is that we pretend to be perfect far too much.

I’ve said this more times than I care to count at this point, but I’ll say it again. I honestly believe that most nonbelievers have no problem with God. If they knew Him, they’d love Him. They all have a problem with us. Because we do an absolutely miserable job of showing them who He is. Nonbelievers don’t hate God; they hate us. We’re judgmental and prudes and snobby and rude. We hate and despise them and then act like we’re better than them because we’re “saved.” They don’t want anything to do with that, and I don’t blame them.

What you probably don’t know, unless you’ve heard this song before, is that pretty much the entire song is NF venting his thoughts and emotions at fellow Christians. Why? Because, not only has he gotten death threats for his music, but someone, and I can almost guarantee it was a “Christian” threatened to slaughter his entire family. Why? Because he didn’t fit their idea of being saved.

That has to stop. NF has likely done more to spread the kingdom of God by the age of 29 than many Christians will manage in an entire lifetime. Now, I’m not trying to be high and mighty about this. This message applies to me, too, as all of my blog posts do. But it needed to be said, and it needs to be said over and over and over again until we get it and start changing how we live.