In my blog post Bible study on Ecclesiastes, I mentioned the song, “It’s No Good to be Alone” by Brandon Heath along with the theme of the necessity of companionship for us. Today, I’m doubling down on that and bringing in the song, “No Man is an Island” by Tenth Avenue North to talk about some good things that can be done with companions that you can’t find when you’re throwing others to the wayside to chase down a dream.
Biblically, I think it’s pretty clear that we need socialization. We need intimate, vulnerable, human connection to survive and thrive on this Earth. Whether that is through close friendships or a spouse, it is, quite simply, necessary to our existence, our nature.
The songs I’m talking about today I won’t spend too much time going in-depth into the lyrics because they’re pretty straightforward, and I explained a lot of it in Friday’s post. But these songs are more recommendations that you can have on hand to listen to whenever you feel overwhelmed. Hopefully, they’ll remind you that you need people you can count on so you aren’t alone.
One of my favorite verses from “It’s No Good to be Alone” comes after the first chorus.
It's been a little while, you've been outta the scene
Spending all your time chasing down a dream
Takes a lifetime, takes a lifetime
It's a short life, it's a short life
This is, personally, one of the things I struggle with a lot. When I was in middle and high school, I would talk to my friends every day. It wasn’t difficult, but when we all split off to college, I spoke to them maybe once a semester. We were all so busy that we couldn’t even bother with each other for 90 percent of our year. Thankfully, we’ve all been good friends since elementary school and don’t have any problem starting back where we left off, but it’s important to not forget connections like that.
One of the things I think we, as Christians, tend to forget is that life is short, and we don’t have to live it all business-like. The things we will accomplish, either for ourselves or for God, will take our entire lives to achieve. You can’t, and shouldn’t, rush it, and mentally, you can’t handle the strain of dedicating yourself solely to it. Sometimes, we have to let loose and live, experience life with our friends. To me, that’s why part of the opening of this song hits so hard.
We're leaving you a message on your telephone
Everybody's wondering what you're doing home
Yeah, we're starting and you're missing the party
Can you hear it playing your favorite song
Everybody's singing but something's wrong
'Cause you're missing, 'cause you're missing
Just as much as your friends should be a vital part of your life, you are likely a vital part of someone else’s life. Sometimes, you need to give up on the extra hours of work on the weekend and spend some time with people who love you. Otherwise, those connections die, and speaking from experience, it really sucks when you let them go.
Tenth Avenue North’s song, on the other hand, speaks about the things friends can do rather than the necessity of having them. I like “No Man is an Island” because it’s coming from the perspective of a friend reaching out to another rather than the other way around.
I believe the best way to have good friends is to be a good friend, a lot like the adage, “You can’t hate someone who is always nice to you.” You can’t have bad friends if you’re a good friend. Barring an incredible lack of empathy in a person, a bad friend won’t be able to put up with the guilt of being a bad friend to a good friend. They’ll either change to be better or leave the friendship entirely.
But the problem with this is that becoming good friends requires vulnerability. It’s a hard thing to get past.
I see fear in your eyes, there's no safety here
Oh, my friend, let me in, I will share your tears
This is a commonly experienced thought, I believe. Often, we lack the courage to break through the fear of opening up to someone because of potential judgment. But being a good friend is showing empathy and understanding, and then being there for the person who shows that vulnerability, whether that means to be a shoulder to cry on or someone to help them get through the issues.
I wish you never thought you had to go,
Wish you never thought you had to leave!
Together we can lift each other up,
We can build a shelter for the weak!
More biblical truth, which is also why I like Tenth Avenue North so much. A good friend provides a human version of what God provides. It’ll be imperfect, but it’ll help so much for your friends to know that you are a safe place, a shelter, for them to come to and weather the storms of life. But one of the best things about the lyrics above is that you can lift each other up. When one part of a friendship goes down, the other can lift them up in prayer, or lead them to a Biblical answer to the trouble.
I think one of the biggest struggles we feel when attempting to actively find companionship is the belief that no one will ever see us for who we are inside, that no one will find us. And that if they ever do, they won’t understand us or love us in that identity. But here’s the thing, as the song says, we can be found. God is the perfect seeker and He can always find us, but even among other people, there are those who will see you for you and love you.
Even though, as humans, our love is finite because we are not God, we love because He first loved us, and that includes loving in the same ways He loves us.
No man is an island, we can be found
No man is an island, let your guard down!