“Actions speak louder than words.” “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” “Words may show a man’s wit, but actions his meaning.”
“The pen is mightier than the sword.” “I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” “Not many should become teachers, my brothers, knowing that we will receive a stricter judgment; for we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a mature man who is also able to control his whole body.”
We were, at least I was, raised in a society that repeated the first paragraph over and over again, that perpetuated this idea that words spoken by the tongue and mouth were somehow less important, less impactful, than actions done with the hands and feet. And I hate to break it to you, but that’s just so wrong. Words are just as impactful, just as meaningful, as actions are. Not more so, and often they need to be backed up by what you do, but words are important. And even more so now that we live in an age where we can bandy them back and forth without ever revealing our own actions to others via social media.
Personally, I heard “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” frequently as I struggled to get over the mean words and insults spoken to me by students and even a few teachers who were not my biggest fans. From as early as 1st grade I was taught to repeat this phrase to myself whenever someone insulted or bullied me to attempt to stop it from hurting so much. And I know millions of other kids are likely taught the same thing.
But you know what? Words do hurt. Words are powerful. They can build and break people, cities, countries, ideals. They can incentivize a rebellion or quell one. They can speak through high-strung emotions and broken hearts and minds. They can drive a person to the edge of a cliff and convince them to jump, and they can pull up someone who’s hanging by their fingertips about to let go.
But we don’t talk about that enough, especially now. With the advent of social media, words have become tantamount to actions in our society. You can impact someone across the world through a pair of screens without them ever seeing your face or watching you live. Just a few words can hurt or heal someone you might never meet. And that, and more, is why you need to take the song “Words” by Hawk Nelson and memorize it, hide it in your heart, and let everything you say flow from the understanding that your words are powerful.
They've made me feel like a prisoner
They've made me feel set free
They've made me feel like a criminal
Made me feel like a king
Honestly, this song is fairly straightforward in its lyrics, so I’m just going to provide examples to fit the lyrics so you can more easily apply them.
A child might feel like a prisoner in his/her own mind if a parent doesn’t take time to converse with them daily about what they think and feel. When you tell your kids, “because I said so,” you tell them that their thoughts are not important to you.
A healthy parent/child relationship is one where the child is encouraged to freely share what he/she thinks because the parent talks and explains actions, decisions, and the world that the child is so inquisitive about.
A child might feel like a criminal for everything they do when they are constantly berated for mistakes but never praised. But the right compliment at the right time puts them on top of the world.
Parents, sorry for picking on you so much, but I’m just using some of my life examples as inspiration.
Words can build you up
Words can break you down
Start a fire in your heart or
Put it out
Another way I realize the power of words in my own life comes from myself and how I used to speak compared to how I try to speak now. If you knew me even two years ago and got on my bad side, you’d know just how much words could hurt because I was an expert at making them sting. And while I’m not proud to say it, I’ve broken down plenty of people with my vocabulary and proficiency with the written and spoken word. You can turn a confident individual into a stuttering mess when you know what to say and how to say it.
But you can also turn the shiest mouse into a lion roaring with confidence. Sometimes, just one compliment is enough to start off a career or a passion. The right word about someone’s singing or playing could create the next Casting Crowns or Matthew West or Francesca Batastelli.
And I’ve seen this happen a thousand times, but you can start fires in people’s hearts for their passions or end them entirely with a careless word. I’m here, writing this today, because a few people took the time to tell second and third grade me that I could be a good writer. But there are also millions of people out there who never pursue their passions because a parent, teacher, friend, or significant other never told them that. Their passion was never realized because someone told them, “that will never work out.”
I look at words kind of like the Butterfly Effect. One small word in the right place at the right time can change the course of someone’s life. Their changed life could impact millions or billions of other people. Even though they seem small and insignificant, words can make huge waves just like actions can.
The Bible tells us that the tongue is powerful. Proverbs 18:21 says, “Life and death are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” And it’s important to know this, and that you have no power to stop the tongue from speaking. The only thing you can do is guide it to speaking the right things. Whatever comes from your mouth is what is in your heart, so make sure to only feed good things to your heart and tongue so that you only speak good.
So, let your words be life, truth, healing, fixing, complimenting, and pointing people to Jesus. Don’t hold back that compliment because you’re afraid it would sound awkward. Or for whatever reason you might hold back a good word. Compliment endlessly and unashamedly. Tell people how much they mean to you. Lavish people with praise about their skills. Learn about your friends’ passions and talk to them about them. Tell people about Jesus, even when you feel like you can’t.